Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Guilt


Tonight I am trying to prepare for the three mid-term exams that I have tomorrow. My teachers all thought that their students would have a lot of mid-terms last week so they were "kind" and moved theirs to Thursday this week. Unfortunately for me, all but one of my teachers thought the same thing, so I have a pile up.


Why am I feeling guilty? Here's the list:


1) I've missed tai chi for the past 3 weeks and had planned to do a make-up class tonight, but now I'm not going to because I have to study. My "Spirit Mom" paid for the class and I hate feeling like I'm wasting her money.


2) I need to be working on a logo but I'm putting it off because I am so terrible at Illustrator. It just seems so counter-intuitive to me! The logo is designed- by hand- but now I have to put it into the computer to make it actually useful and I'm not working on it, I'm writing this blog.


3) I don't write anything on this blog nearly often enough.


4) I have no idea what I'm going to do when unemployment runs out. I need to be working on the 4 picture books, YA novel, and screenplay that I have under construction, I need to be more diligent about my portfolio and I need to be networking and following up on leads more, but I'm not. I can blame school, or recent car troubles, or any number of things, but to be honest, I know excuses are just excuses and if I could make myself focus I'd be in a lot better shape.


5) I spend too much time on the computer, claiming to be doing research.


6) I keep saying I'm starting a diet, but I never really do.


So, what to do with this hot mess which is me? I think I need to deal with it instead of feeling guilty about it... Suggestions?

2 comments:

  1. You have nothing to feel guilty about on any level as far as I can see.

    By the way the illustration. Oh my God. Amazing.

    Good luck on your exams.

    Love Renee xoxo

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  2. Gosh, I totally missed your post! And now it's December and I am sure you have moved out of the guilty time and into the enjoying your new puppy and the Holidays time! And good thing, too - guilt is such a waste of time! Just do what's in front of you and be kind to yourself - you are such an amazing woman and a bright light!! Love, Silke

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